Chance Of “Home On The Range II”…Zero

          Goodbye, Sharon Morrill. And good riddance.

          Who, you may ask, is Sharon Morrill? And the answer would be the former president of Disney Toons Studios. “Former”, because her ass got bounced this week, mostly due to the influence of John Lassiter (of Pixar fame, as well as the current Chief Creative Officer of Walt Disney Animation). And why does any of this matter?

          Morrill is widely credited with being the “genius” behind the last decade or so of “direct to video” sequels to classic Disney animated films.

          Ah. Now you see.

          Lassiter, a “traditionalist” when it comes to the subject of Disney Animation, has been using his power since January of 2006 to ixnay a series of poorly-conceived DTV sequels (Aristocats 2? Chicken Little 2?). According to those inside Disney, the final straw came when Lassiter sat through a rough cut of The Tinkerbell Movie, a computer animated DTV sequel that had been all but created by Morrill.

          Lassiter was pissed. To him, The Tinkerbell Movie summed up everything that was wrong with Disney Toon Studios. The next thing you know, Morrill is gone, the direct to video sequel epidemic seems to be a thing of the past, and a sigh of relief whooshed out from Disney Animation traditionalists everywhere.

          Including me. Good riddance, Morrill.

          I’m not against the concept of sequels, far from it. In my opinion, some follow-ups are superior to the original film. X2: X-Men United, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and Aliens immediately spring to mind. And Dead Man’s Chest and At World’s End were at least as entertaining as the original Pirates of the Caribbean.

          But these Disney DTV sequels? Ugh. Let’s take a quick look at a few, shall we?

The Return of Jafar (1994)

           

          Jafar, from 1992’s Aladdin, was a classic Disney villain. He schemed and plotted, used everyone’s faults against then, gained a massive amount of power, and was defeated soundly in the end. Great story arc.

          So what’s the most logical course of action? Bring him back in a weakly-produced sequel featuring Dan Castellaneta trying to ape Robin Williams, and animation that belonged on a Disney Saturday morning cartoon. Unfortunately, because it raked in a shitload of money, this is the nugget of crap that got the whole ball rolling.

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World (1998)

           

          This DTV sequel is the heartwarming tale of Pocahontas’ travels to England after the events of the first movie, a series of comic misadventures, and her falling in love with John Rolfe, the man who would become her husband. It ends with Pocahontas and Rolfe in each other’s arms, sailing back to the New World under a beautiful sunset.

          In real life, Pocahontas came to England as part of hostage situation, was baptized, took the name “Rebecca Rolfe”, and died of smallpox on the way home from England. Now that’s a direct to video sequel I want to see.

101 Dalmatians II: Patch’s London Adventure (2003)

            All you need to know is that it features the voices of Martin Short, Jason Alexander, and Barry Bostwick.

          Pass.

          I know these “films” (for lack of a better word) filled the Disney coffers with money, as they were intended to do. (After all, the cheaper the product, the higher the profit.) But from an artistic standpoint, all they do is weaken the good name that they’re stacked upon. The world doesn’t really need to see what happened when the Little Mermaid returned to the sea, how Tarzan grew up, or a situation where Kronk got a “new” groove. Thankfully, the death of this unfortunate trend means we’ll never be subjected to The Rescuers III: The Rescuers Do Vegas, or Lilo & Stitch III: Lilo’s Prom Night Date Rape.

          I wholeheartedly applaud Lassiter’s approach to this situation, and hope that he continues to clear out the dead wood not just in Disney Animation, but in the company as a whole. The re-opening of the Submarine Voyage at Disneyland, and future plans for Walt Disney World seem to bringing great hope for the future.

          And in case Sharon Morrill happens upon this while Googling her name (after all, she’s got some free time now), let me say this.

          Sharon, I don’t know you. You’re probably not a “bad” person, and I understand you’re not wholly responsible for the thirteen years of feces that’s been clogging up store shelves and pissing me off. After all, it’s not as if you wrote, directed, and produced every single one of these atrocities personally. I’m sure most of it was outsourced to India or some country where diphtheria breaks out every time it rains.

          Perhaps now, you can use your massive creative talents toward a more appropriate end. Say, for example…

“Welcome to Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Café. May I take your order?”