Several Uncomfortable Minutes With CM Venom

If I had the power to imprison people in a customized hell, it would look a lot like Cave City, Kentucky. Features would include nothing but hot water from drinking fountains, lots of Dance Dance Revolution machines, and a never-ending Joel Schumacher film festival.

I am “that” CM Venom, former Lunatic Wrestling Federation Champion (1997-1998), and the former tag team partner of the person that used to be a human being named Phil Brooks. I am also a caustic and acerbic individual, and would have little or no problem stabbing you for the last cherry Sweetart. Not fatally if I could help it, just enough to let you know I mean business.

People keep asking me when the LWF will make its glorious return, and I’ve been pretty mum on the subject. It’s coming back, but not in the form you’d expect.

I would sleep with Joan Cusack before I slept with Torrie Wilson. SO many people seem to have a problem with that.

I will take a spoonful of A1 sauce every once in a while.

I am an avid collector of Walt Disney World memorabilia. If anyone has any 1970′s WDW or early 80′s Epcot Center stuff, I’d probably be interested in taking it off your hands. The older the better.

That fuckin’ thing was three pounds. Three pounds.

I’m at an official coaster count of 79. I could break a hundred with visits to Great Adventure and Kings Dominion. I’m pushing for both to be part of the same trip.

I’m trusting my feelings and my instincts. It’s easy now.

 I can’t decide if I want a manifesto. I mean, I’d certainly like one (who wouldn’t?), but then something happens, and you’re suddenly “that guy”, y’know?